Title: Ted’s Not So Awful Truth

Pairing: VM/OB

Rating: G

A/N: humour, tribute to Ted Casablanca

If there ever were a time, I could rightfully say, “I said so”, now would be it. But because I’m such a nice person (as I’m a natural blonde), I will content myself with relating what took place six days ago in the Japanese premiere of the third instalment of The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Orlando Bloom, the star of the said swashbuckling success, arrived at the event walking hand in hand with another quite famous, if nineteen years older than his British colleague, actor and artist, Viggo Mortensen. The frenzied press and fans didn’t get any downright smooching pictures from the literally glowing couple on the red carpet, but some lucky photographers (or should I say bastards) managed to snap a few money shots of heated man-on-man liplocks at the after-party. The visible presence of tongues in all the photographical evidence should convince everyone, who failed to notice the identical rings on the actor’s ring fingers, that this little act was indeed about one of the biggest outings in the history of showbiz, even if Gussy ‘n’ Fussy, I mean Orlando and Viggo, dodged the questions about the nature of their fellowship with smirks and humming of “All you need is love”.

Now the million-dollar question is, how this will affect Orlando’s career? In Japan, The Pirates has turned into the biggest first week box office hit of the decade, but even I am not so naïve to think that the same would happen back in Tinseltown and I doubt Orlando will ever again appear in a Disney film. All in all, this is a happy day for one humble columnist, and who knows, I might even pop a champagne bottle, for somebody has surely popped something entirely else.